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A failure to mentalize – Mentalization Information Part 2
Often, when speaking with someone who is a close “attachment person,” misunderstandings, assumptions and ineffective modes of thinking creep into the situation. Bateman identifies several “modes” of thinking that inhibit mentalization. These modes are: Psychic Equivalence – when the world is equivalent to the person’s mind. This is the “feelings = facts” mode. “If I feel sad, there must be someone/something that made me sad.” Pretend – mental states are not anchored in reality. Pretending “as if” something is true, when external evidence shows the contrary. This is “bullshitting” mode. Teleological – mental states can only be expressed in action. “If you loved me, you’d buy me a car.” Only…
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Does the mode of “failure to mentalize” determine the ineffective behavior of the borderline?
A few days I got a comment on my post “How mentalization and attachment might explain ‘high functioning’ Borderline”. The comment was from a self-proclaimed “quiet borderline”. I have gone back and forth on this blog, through posts and comments alike, on whether the term “high functioning” or “invisible borderline” is a myth, a reality or a made-up category. As I said in “The Myth of the High Functioning Borderline,” I have yet to discover a researcher or clinician using these terms. Until now. Dr. Margaret Cochran guest-blogged on Randi Krieger’s “Stop Walking on Eggshells” blog and used both terms (invisible and high-functioning). I really don’t know what her familiarity…
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How does one mentalize?
It is important to remember that mentalization is about NOW. It is not about any other moment than now. Therefore, if you aredragging old issues or future worries into the conversation (or if the other person is) then you are experiencing a “failure to mentalize.” You mentalize by continually monitoring the progress and state of a conversation. You mentalize by asking questions about thecurrent conversation, the feelings and intention of the other person and monitoring your own feelings and understanding of the current conversation. It is a natural skill and is built into the human mind; however, it is also a difficult skill, because we are often not mindful of…
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Mentalization and understanding the minds of others
I spoken about mentalization on this site before. Since I’ve lately been on a TED talk kick, mainly watching TED talks about neuroscience, I wanted to post this one from Rebecca Saxe which is called “How we read each other’s minds”. It is basically describing the process of mentalizing and how a certain part of the brain, the Right Temporo-Parietal Junction, is highly specialized for seeking to understand the motivations of others, the essence of mentalization. What is fascinating about this talk is her use of the pirate/cheese sandwich story with children of various ages. She demonstrates how the process of mentalization develops over time. I talked about another mentalization test (which is based on…
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Mentalization Information Part 1
What is mentalization? Basically, mentalization is the connection of mind to mind in a particular exchange. It is about in-the-moment interaction, not about the past or future. It is about communicating and understanding your and the other person’s explicit and implicit expressions and motivations, feelings, goals, etc. It is about accurately expressing yourself and listening to the other person in a search for meaning. It is about internalizing the other’s viewpoint and having the other internalize your viewpoint. A really good example of mentalizing is an inside joke – both you and the other person completely understand the meaning of the joke and have internalized the meaning. Jerry Holmes, a…
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Ten signs of possible Borderline Personality Disorder in children
While Borderline Personality Disorder is not generally diagnosed in children, many with the disorder feel that even as a child, there were symptoms and signs of the disorder. When my wife and I had an educational assessment done of our emotionally- sensitive daughter when she was eight years old, the “social and emotional functioning” section of the assessment sounded very much like childhood borderline. After meeting numerous people with Borderline Personality Disorder and their families, I have identified several signs that a parent can be on the look-out for. These are by no means a diagnostic guide, as I am not qualified to diagnose any mental disorder and there is…