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Burnout, Compassion Fatigue and why non-BPDs lack compassion for borderlines
Do non-BPDs have enough compassion for people with Borderline Personality Disorder? A few months ago, Dr. Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, About.com’s BPD guide, posted a message entitled “Have Compassion” in which she said: “Many times each week I receive reader comments, forum posts, and personal emails that are incredibly hateful toward people with BPD. I do understand that many people have been hurt by individuals with BPD, and that usually these comments are written from a place of pain and anger. But, I am often shocked by the level of vitriol in these comments.” She went on to implore non-BPDs to have compassion for those suffering from BPD saying: “People with…
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First Search on IAAHF
I coined the phrase “It’s All About His/Her Feelings” (IAAHF) as a mentalization tool to understand the MOTIVATION behind much of the confusing behavior of those with BPD. Last week, I got the first search engine search on IAAHF. See below: As you can see, I also get lots of searches on “famous people” or “celebrities” with BPD. I only post those types of articles to relate to those with BPD and their families that perhaps they are not alone in their struggles – perhaps (again it’s a maybe because the closest celebrity to actually come out and say he/she has BPD is Megan Fox – who speculated about it).…
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Changing of the Poll: Non-BPD Books
Today, I have decided to rotate the poll. The last question I asked is about books that non-BPD people have read. Not surprisingly, the largest slice of the responders said “Stop Walking on Eggshells” as the book that they read (among others). Here is the data, normalized across the “choose all that apply” spectrum. If you’d like to see it by responders, see the “polls” link or poll archive. OK, here’s a better representation of the percentage of the responders, rather than the % by total answers: I also have started a new poll about self-injury. I am quite interested in the stats on self-injury because I have been told…
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Don’t Defend: Should it be “Don’t Dexify?”
In my book “When Hope is Not Enough”, I recommend to Non-BPD folks that they “Don’t Defend”. This advice has caused many a member of the ATSTP Goggle Group Support List to be concerned and to struggle with the idea of defending oneself against day-to-day accusations. Some times this “defending” is actually “justification or explaining”. Sometimes it is even done pro-actively – heading off criticism or misinterpretation ahead of time. Well, recently, a member of the group pointed us to a posting from Russell Bishop entitled “Why You Should Never Defend, Explain or Justify”. I think it captures the spirit and nature of my directive: Don’t Defend. Here is the…
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New Review of When Hope is Not Enough
I’m currently reading the book ‘The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder’ by Randi Kreger. This is the first book I’ve read on the subject & I’m finding it really helpful. I started to research other books and found the one I’m ‘reviewing’ on the US Amazon website. There are lots of reviews of the book there and it made me decide to buy it as the reviews are very positive. So, if you want to read reviews before you buy this book, have a look on the American site. I’ve now read the book! Just this minute finished reading it in fact. I have found it so very…
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When Hope is Not Enough available for Kindle!
I am pleased to announce that When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is now available in the Kindle format in the United States and in the UK. I had been asked about getting this book on the Kindle and I finally figured out how to do it. I should have my other books on the Kindle format shortly. If you have a Kindle, now you can read the Non-BPD book that has helped hundreds of people in their relationships. No related posts.