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Why Shame is Corrosive in a BP/Non-BP relationship
This is my response to someone who asked why shame is corrosive in a BP/Non-BP relationship… Shame is corrosive to a relationship because it keeps the BP or NP in “pretend mode” where they are behaving “as if” they are engaged in the relationship, but in reality their only real goal is to protect themselves from discovery. The closer you get to it, the more panicked they become. Often the shame is never revealed to others and covered up with bullshit (in the art term, not the common term). If a person is bullshitting their way through something (and sometimes they bullshit themselves too) then they are not genuinely engaged…
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WHINE and DBT Skills Compared
Occasionally, a discussion on my private email list that I feel it would be helpful to share here. I only do it if the discussion is not personal in nature. This discussion is about proper application of the skills in WHINE and how they compare to DBT skills. My list member’s question/comments are indented… my responses are not. Now I have some time to answer these questions and the ones you ask in a later post. Let me start with these. Thanks again Bon. Now I am re-examining how best to communicate. I have a bunch of things I have been thinking about WHINE that I wanted to ask you…
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Article in Time about the DSM
Here’s an article about the DSM… Wednesday, Mar. 11, 2009 Redefining Crazy: Researchers Revise the DSM By John Cloud If you wanted to make a list of important books you should read, what would you choose? Anna Karenina, maybe? The Bible? How about the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders? It may not be at the top of your list, but the DSM, as it’s usually called, is one of the most important books in the world. It attempts to categorize, describe and give a code number to literally every problem that can occur in your mind, from schizophrenia to borderline personality disorder to something called mathematics disorder, which…
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Borderline Personality Disorder, Celebrities, DBT, Emotions, Odds and Ends, Other Disorders, Self-Injury
Dr. Drew tells us some celebrities have mental illnesses
Duh! Anyway, here is an article from Wired about celebrities and mental illness: Celebrities’ bad behavior is rooted in mental illness, according to “Dr. Drew” Pinsky, who is best known as the host of Celebrity Rehab and Loveline — a nationally syndicated radio show that invites listeners to call in with questions about sex and drugs. In his latest book, The Mirror Effect (on bookstore shelves Tuesday), he spells out a theory that stars are predisposed to narcissistic personality disorder long before they become famous. Their dysfunctional behavior is rewarded by Hollywood and portrayed as normal by the press. “As reporting on celebrity behavior becomes even more ruthless and mean-spirited,…
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Ekman and Emotional Profiles
I was reading the book “Emotional Awareness” which is a transcript of a conversation between the Dalai Lama and Dr. Paul Ekman (two of my favorites!). On pages 45-47, Ekman talks about the idea of “emotional profiles.” He says he has spent many decades of his career identifying the similarities between people in their emotional lives and now, through emotional profiles, is identifying differences in people’s emotional lives. I noticed when reading the book is that there are a number of factors that seem to affect a person’s emotional profile. Ekman says a bit about it, yet when I researched and thought about writing “When Hope is Not Enough” I…
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Mentalization and BPD
I am learning mentalization and it shows great promise! Here is a link to Anthony Bateman’s website with info on this technique…. http://www.ucl.ac.uk/psychoanalysis/unit-staff/anthony.htm No related posts.