Anything to Stop the Pain - BPD and Non-BPs

I recently saw a thread in which borderlines were discussing their “hypersensitivity” to certain sensory stimulation.

If you know my story, you know that one of my daughters has dysfunctional emotional reactions. I like to think of that as pre-BPD. I hope that the actual onset of full BPD can be avoided. One of the things that has started happening with her more and more is she has developed a sensitivity to certain foods. She can’t eat certain foods and she finds certain smells offensive. The other day she found the milk smelled sour, even when it was not sour for everyone else in the family. I think this hypersensitivity thing has some merit.

bon :: May.23.2006 :: Biology :: No Comments »

Wise Mind - Taking Control of your Mind
States of Mind

Reason Mind

This is your rational, thinking, logical mind

It plans and evaluates things logically.

It is your “cool” part.

Reasonable Mind can be very beneficial.

It is easier to be in Reasonable Mind when you feel good.

It is much harder to be in Reasonable Mind when you don’t feel good.

You Would Use Your Reasonable Mind To:
Build a bridge
Figure out how to double a recipe
Balance your checkbook
Figure out the fastest way from point “A” to point “B”

Emotion Mind

This describes times when your emotions are out of control — times when emotions are what influence or control your thinking and behavior.

Emotional Mind can also be very beneficial.

Emotions are what motivate us to action.

Emotions are what keep us attached to others and building relationships.

Emotion Mind can be aggravated by:
Illness, Lack Of Sleep, Tiredness, Drugs, Alcohol, Hungry, Bloating, Overeating, Poor nutrition and/or lack of exercise, Environmental stress and threats

Both Emotion and Reasonable Mind Are Equally Important And Valuable.
Reasonable mind gives you a way to solve your problems.

Emotion mind gives you a reason (motivation) to want to solve them.

Wise Mind

Wise mind is the integration of emotional and reasonable mind.

You cannot overcome or control emotional mind with reasonable mind.

You cannot create emotion mind with reason.

You must go within and integrate these two states of mind.

Wise mind is that part of each person that can know and experience truth.

It is where the person knows something to be true or valid.

It is where the person knows something in a centered (balanced) way.

It is almost always quiet and calm in this part of the mind.

Wise Mind - An Analogy for Wise Mind is like a deep well in the ground. The water is at the bottom of the well. The entire underground is an ocean called Wise Mind. But on the way down, there are often trap doors that stop progress. Sometimes the trap doors are so cleverly built that you actually believe that there is no water at the bottom of the well. The trap door may look like the bottom of the well. Perhaps it is locked and you need a key. Perhaps it is nailed shut and you need a hammer. Perhaps it is glued shut and you need a chisel.

Everyone Has A Wise Mind!

Some people have simply never experienced it.

No one is in Wise Mind all of the time.

Emotion and Wise Mind; Confusing The Two

Emotional mind and Wise mind both have a quality of “feeling” something to be true.

Intense emotions can generate feelings of certainty that mimic the Wise mind.

Like in a well, after a heavy storm, water can collect on a trap door within the well. You may then confuse the still water on the trap door with the deep ocean at the bottom of the well.

Wise mind is in your heart (emotions) and in you head (reason).

Certainty comes from both.

bon :: May.08.2006 :: DBT :: No Comments »

Versions of Shame

Version A) they are just born that way. THEY are not even sure of what they are ashamed of. They carry around three core beliefs: “The world is dangerous and malevolent”, “I am powerless and vulnerable” and “I am inherently unacceptable.” But they don’t know WHY - they have just always been that way. The only reason that I can gather is that they have labile emotions and they lead to an unstable sense of self. That instability is what they are ashamed of (and scared anyone and everyone will know). It’s like a nightmare in which you’ve pissed your pants and you hope to god no one will notice. That’s the shame component as far as I can tell. It’s not about anyone other than themselves.

Version B) Same as version A but caused by the environment.

Oh and version C - mix and match versions A & B.

bon :: May.07.2006 :: Shame, Biology :: No Comments »

The questions was asked - when did you first feel the effects of BPD?

I find it astounding that 72% answered “less than 16 years old”.

bon :: May.07.2006 :: Biology, Borderline Personality Disorder :: No Comments »

A very good article about the role of shame in BPD. I have said many times how shame plays a central role in BPD. Frankly, I feel that shame feelings are biological in BPD. In the article he says abuse is the cause, but I feel that shame in BPD is like sadness in clinical depression - it just exists even if there is no cause. Maybe there are two types of BPD, one that is biological and one that is caused by abuse? Or maybe the one that is caused by abuse is PTSD and not BPD? Anyway, here is an excerpt:

Dr. Donald Nathanson has pioneered the study of shame and its relationship to the psychotherapeutic process. He defines four categories of learned responses to shame, which he visualizes as the four points on a compass. On one axis lies “Withdrawal” at one pole and “Avoidance” at the other. On the other axis lie “Attack self” and “Attack others.”
“Withdrawal” behaviors include various forms of hiding from others, ranging from averting ones eyes and maintaining silence in the presence of others to reclusiveness and flight. Withdrawal can lead to isolation and feelings of abandonment, confirming the belief that we are unworthy of the company of others and therefore reinforcing shame.
“Attacking self” includes a repertoire of behaviors that are designed to protect us from abandonment at all costs. These are self-negating, submissive gestures that acknowledge the superior power of another, whose presence has become important to us. This can also contribute to the cycle of abuse.

“Avoidance” includes all the behaviors that are designed to keep from feeling the shame. This ranges from the use of drugs and alcohol to obliterate feeling to the distractions of sexual indulgence, materialism, and vanity. Avoidant behaviors include a variety of things we do to cover up the defects that we imagine others see in us. They are often cosmetic in quality and serve to distract both ourselves and others from these defects.

“Attacking others” includes a repertoire of desperate behaviors that serve to belittle others as a last ditch attempt to rescue self-esteem by feeling bigger at another’s expense. The attacks may come in words or actions. These behaviors inevitably distance us from others, again raising the threat of abandonment. These behaviors also result in shaming others and pass the wounds along.

bon :: May.07.2006 :: Shame, Emotions :: No Comments »

Wise Mind - Taking Control of your Mind
States of Mind

Reason Mind

This is your rational, thinking, logical mind

It plans and evaluates things logically.

It is your “cool” part.

Reasonable Mind can be very beneficial.

It is easier to be in Reasonable Mind when you feel good.

It is much harder to be in Reasonable Mind when you don’t feel good.

You Would Use Your Reasonable Mind To:
Build a bridge
Figure out how to double a recipe
Balance your checkbook
Figure out the fastest way from point “A” to point “B”

Emotion Mind

This describes times when your emotions are out of control — times when emotions are what influence or control your thinking and behavior.

Emotional Mind can also be very beneficial.

Emotions are what motivate us to action.

Emotions are what keep us attached to others and building relationships.

Emotion Mind can be aggravated by:
Illness, Lack Of Sleep, Tiredness, Drugs, Alcohol, Hungry, Bloating, Overeating, Poor nutrition and/or lack of exercise, Environmental stress and threats

Both Emotion and Reasonable Mind Are Equally Important And Valuable.
Reasonable mind gives you a way to solve your problems.

Emotion mind gives you a reason (motivation) to want to solve them.

Wise Mind

Wise mind is the integration of emotional and reasonable mind.

You cannot overcome or control emotional mind with reasonable mind.

You cannot create emotion mind with reason.

You must go within and integrate these two states of mind.

Wise mind is that part of each person that can know and experience truth.

It is where the person knows something to be true or valid.

It is where the person knows something in a centered (balanced) way.

It is almost always quiet and calm in this part of the mind.

Wise Mind - An Analogy for Wise Mind is like a deep well in the ground. The water is at the bottom of the well. The entire underground is an ocean called Wise Mind. But on the way down, there are often trap doors that stop progress. Sometimes the trap doors are so cleverly built that you actually believe that there is no water at the bottom of the well. The trap door may look like the bottom of the well. Perhaps it is locked and you need a key. Perhaps it is nailed shut and you need a hammer. Perhaps it is glued shut and you need a chisel.

Everyone Has A Wise Mind!

Some people have simply never experienced it.

No one is in Wise Mind all of the time.

Emotion and Wise Mind; Confusing The Two

Emotional mind and Wise mind both have a quality of “feeling” something to be true.

Intense emotions can generate feelings of certainty that mimic the Wise mind.

Like in a well, after a heavy storm, water can collect on a trap door within the well. You may then confuse the still water on the trap door with the deep ocean at the bottom of the well.

Wise mind is in your heart (emotions) and in you head (reason).

Certainty comes from both.

bon :: May.04.2006 :: DBT :: No Comments »