Anything to Stop the Pain - BPD and Non-BPs

Validation and DBT:

Validation in DBT involves five different levels. This first two are similar to other psychotherapies and involve unbiased listening and observing, and eliciting and accurately reflecting the patient’s thoughts, feelings, and assumptions. The third step of validation is to articulate for the patient unverbalized emotions, thoughts, or behavior patterns. The idea is to accurately “”read their minds”" and help them learn to accurately label internal states. The fourth step is for the therapist to validate the person’s present behavior based on their past learning history. In other words, from the DBT perspective, any human given the same biological makeup and learning history would end up responding in exactly the same way given the same context. Fifth, the therapist looks for and articulates the part of the patient’s response that is valid and / or wise. The idea is that even dysfunctional behavior, to some degree, makes absolute sense at the time the patient engaged in the behavior (e.g., served to reduce pain) and that if the patient could have done anything different (i.e., more adaptive), he or she would have done so. Thus, the therapist validates the grain of truth in any given response, while at the same time he or she works with the patient to change that very same response.

http://www.portlanddbt.com/pages/lynch.html

bon :: Feb.23.2006 :: Validation, DBT :: No Comments »

Here’s an exerpt from a borderline describing the need to cut:

I’m going to make a feeble attempt to explain this need to self injure. Have you ever had a bad itch, like poison ivy, that you just have to keep itching. I have. I recently had one ankle itch so bad that I took the heel of my shoe and itched it as we drove along in the car. I itched it so hard I scraped all the skin off. The wound was so bad it was scabed over for weeks. But it didn’t hurt when I did it; it did help relieve the itch. Well, borderline emotional pain is like that. When we experience rejection, or abandonment, or change, it hurts inside so bad that we have to do something to soothe that pain. We can’t itch it, we can’t rub it or massage it away, so we self injure to help take our minds off it.

http://www.angelfire.com/biz/BPD/story.html

bon :: Feb.22.2006 :: Self-Injury :: No Comments »

From an article about Courtney Love’s troubles:

“”People like her are extraordinarily emotionally immature,”" according to Sheenah Hankin, a psychotherapist who says Love’s behavior resembles that of a typical “”borderline personality disorder.”" “”These people throw tantrums and don’t take care of themselves at all,”" she adds. “”When they’re in a crisis, they don’t seek help, they just freak out.”"

There is no “”poster child”" for BPD. No celebrity has come out and said: “”I have borderline personality disorder.”" Sure, some famous people have been identified with bi-polar disorder (some examples from a Google search: Ben Stiller, Dick Cavett, Jonathan Winters, Carrie Fisher, Sting) …but not BPD. Why?http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20040718/news_1a18clove.html

bon :: Feb.21.2006 :: Borderline Personality Disorder :: No Comments »

From a very good article describing co-existing issues with BPD:

Millon (1996, p. 200) notes that individuals with BPD are characterized by drug-seeking behavior. Individuals with BPD will be particularly vulnerable to the escape offered by drugs and alcohol. Real world interaction triggers multiple interpersonal crises and overwhelming negative affect. Drugs can, ostensibly, offer relief from BPD turmoil and emptiness.

And for me, this one struck home:

Individuals with BPD often use alcohol and other drugs in a chaotic and unpredictable pattern; they may engage in a polydrug pattern involving alcohol and other sedative-hypnotics for self-medication. Clients with BPD often abuse benzodiazepines that have been prescribed for anxiety — which can lead to a relapse to their actual primary drug of choice (Ries, TIP #9, 1994, p. 55).

http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/borderln.htm

bon :: Feb.21.2006 :: Substance Abuse, Medication :: No Comments »

Over half (54%) of borderline’s have a problem with substance abuse. The main theory is that they use substances to try and quell the painful emotions that they feel. My BP reports that she uses substances (prescription meds) to try and “shut up” the feelings for a few hours.

bon :: Feb.21.2006 :: Substance Abuse :: No Comments »

From “”Peace is Every Step”" by Thich Nhat Hanh:

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you donít blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. One day in Paris, I gave a lecture about not blaming the lettuce. After the talk, I was doing walking meditation by myself, and when I turned the corner of a building, I overheard an eight-year-old girl telling her mother, “”Mommy, remember to water me. I am your lettuce.”" I was so pleased that she had understood my point completely. Then I heard her mother reply, “”Yes, my daughter, and I am your lettuce also. So please donít forget to water me too.”" Mother and daughter practicing together, it was very beautiful.

bon :: Feb.16.2006 :: Blame, Mindfulness :: No Comments »

An article on DBT skills and validation:

There are few things people want more in life than to be told that they are right about what they are thinking, feeling and doing. Upon being told this, people usually calm down and feel better, which makes communicating with them much easier. Validation basically involves communicating that we understand, appreciate or approve of something in another person, such as their beliefs, emotions or actions. Though we may be able to validate everything someone feels or does (especially if these are destructive) we can learn to find something in the person’s feelings or behaviors that we can understand and agree with.

http://www.dbtsf.com/helping-someone.htm

bon :: Feb.08.2006 :: DBT-FST, Validation :: No Comments »

A article by a recovering BPD patient:

I’ve tried my hardest to make up for the damage I caused but since the overwhelming theme is that Borderlines never get better, they see it as another attempt at manipulation. At the same time, I don’t feel like I should have to constantly justify myself to others. Although, it seems that’s what is expected of us. I will admit my past behavior showed some pretty nasty stuff, but that’s just it: past not present. In the last few days I’ve seen some rather disturbing things, which has caused me to write this article. I saw an article that was written for those who have, “survived life with a BPD” in which the author referred to Borderline’s as the equivalent of the terrorist’s of 9/11. I found this reference as disgusting and it angers me deeply, that someone that is supposed to be knowledgeable of BPD could say such a thing. We may be deeply troubled people, we may be able to cause damage but we are not terrorists. I’ve also encountered the terms “non bp’s” and “anti bpd” repeatedly. They feel the need to distinguish themselves from us. But I have to ask, why? Is it because they’re afraid someone would see them as BPD? Or is it another way to remind those of us, that suffer from BPD that we aren’t good enough? Well, that remains to be seen.

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/bpd/104139

bon :: Feb.08.2006 :: Emotions, Borderline Personality Disorder :: No Comments »